You can’t choose your children, but with cats, it’s different. But what suits me better – cat or tomcat? Is gender really that important? And what are the differences between cats and males that I should know about before I get one or more cats?

Cat and Tomcat

The choice to either adopt a male cat or a female cat is one of the factors to consider before you bring a kitty into your home. Apart from the obvious biological differences, there are also other subtle differences between a male and a female cat.

These differences might influence the decision of a prospective cat owner on the choice of gender. Each cat has distinct peculiarities that make it unique. However, it is also imperative to understand the behavioral and personality differences between male and female cats before introducing that furry friend to your family.

Cats should be neutered as soon as they’re six months old. This is a very effective way to avoid annoying sexual behavior. It is imperative to note that majority of the pronounced behaviors and personality traits in cats are found in the unneutered ones.

Common Behavioral Traits Exhibited by Unneutered Cats 

  • Roaming
  • Territorial aggression
  • Urine spraying
  • Escape attempts
  • Unprovoked aggression toward other cats

The difference between a female and a male kitten is more pronounced during the mating period, especially in unsterilized animals. Male cats tend to leave home for days during their heat period, particularly at night.

And this does not include the odors secreted by them during this period. The females don’t typically leave home during this period but they become hyperactive and restless. Neutering or spaying will prevent a lot of these problematic behaviors 

The Personality Factor 

Like humans, cats are unique and distinct in their individuality. However, certain personality attributes can be ascribed to each gender. Therefore, you need to consider your individual needs and the things you consider important before deciding on a female or male cat.

Many other factors also affect the personality of a cat. They include:


The basis for a cat’s timidity, friendliness, assertiveness, aloofness, or tolerance can be traced to genetics. A cat’s personality will naturally have a huge influence on her kittens. A queen can however serve as a role model for a kitten, especially at the early stage of their lives when they’re taught to be assertive or fearful.

Cats and Human Socialization

Early socialization between cats and humans is another component that affects cat behavior. Cats are taught how to behave as early as their second week of existence by their owners. The act of cuddling, lifting, and stroking teaches them human peculiarities that they eventually become familiar with as time progresses.

These are some of the contexts that affect cat behavior. Sometimes it is not all about their gender since the environment also affects your cat’s behavior.

The personality of a Male Cat

Male cats are generally more affectionate. They’re more likely to form strong bonds and relationships with other cats, even if the cats are from a different litter. The females are however not as warm.

Like humans, the male cat is stronger than the female cat. They’re also better at handling rough play from kids. Therefore, if you want a cat for your kids you might want to consider getting a male. However, this is not an excuse not to teach children to be gentle with pets.  

Unneutered male cats are likely to roam their territory as is their nature. They also tend to rub themselves against walls and furniture.

Unneutered males are always willing to play. They have so much energy in reserve and are always ready to expend it. Unneutered male cats love freedom. They can wander off for days at a time without bothering to come back. Male free rangers are more likely to venture far away from home in search of females to mate with.

Tomcats are more rambunctious too. So, if you don’t mind being woken up in the middle of the night to play then a tomcat is your best bet. But if you would prefer a quiet pet or companion, then you might want to look into adopting a female cat.

The personality of a Female Cat  

Female cats are generally more independent compared to their male counterparts. If you’re the type that works late and will be leaving your cat alone for long hours, it is advisable to get a female cat.

This is because female cats are more equipped to handle time alone. They don’t mind lying around and entertaining themselves all day. Female cats have powerful maternal instincts, even when they have been spayed. They might not be the most affectionate of animals, but one thing you cannot take away from a female cat is her loyalty and devotion to her owners.

Their maternal instincts are so strong that female cats have been known to hang around their sick owners.

 What to consider before bringing a new cat into your home 

It is important to consider the temperament of your cat before adopting a new one regardless of gender. Cats are solitary animals so it would be wise to consider how welcoming your cat would be before bringing in another cat to join the pack.

My advice is that you get your cats neutered and sprayed if you want to enjoy the full range of their personalities. If your cat is shy, he will be less open to the idea of a dominant cat. You should also consider the age and size of the cats, as cats of the same age and size are more likely to be tolerant of each other. An older cat will be less likely to enjoy having a younger cat invade his space.

So, how do you choose?

Male and female kittens are not the same in terms of habits, education, and temperament. These are factors you will have to take into account when adopting.

The most important thing to consider when making such a decision is the type of relationship you desire with the feline and how it affects your lifestyle. You might want to adopt a male kitten if you want a furry best friend for your family to snuggle up to and play with. However, if you’re the type that works long hours, then your best bet is a female cat.

Every cat has its unique personality, which means there are exceptions to the general rule. There are female cats who love cuddling as much as their male counterparts and male cats who are just as standoffish as the traditional female cat. This is why it is often advisable to get to know your furry little friend before introducing him to your family.

Both male and female cats have their peculiarities, and it would be silly to pretend otherwise. Though neutering can help prevent some bad habits, a male cat will always behave like a male cat, and so will a female. You need to recognize those peculiarities and decide if they fall into the bracket of what you desire in a pet.

After all is said and done, I think the decision to either adopt a tomcat or a cat comes down to personal taste and is purely subjective.

Categories: Cats


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